Life admist Anxiety

Slept at 4 am because brain wouldnt turn off

Woke up at 12 pm, amidst anxiety attack

It is 5 pm now, I have pet my cats, drunk water, walked around the house, drawn in my sketchbook and still feel a tight chest

Life happening in parallel-

Brokers calling about a house we need to rent

My sister going for her neurologist appointment. One of her chronic issues (not the trigger for my anxiety)

Sisters room's ac has stopped working and since the building is going to be demolished in a few months the landlords have obviously refused to fix it. So full rent payment for half the rooms.

Best friend needs to finish writing her thesis, she isn't making progress

Both our didis have gone for a month long vacation to their villages as they do every summer

I still do not have a job so no money coming in

Strait of Hormuz still closed

Good things

I am sustained by my family it will not hurt them to help me out for much longer

Didi's will have a nice long vacation, till then we have a new nice didi.

Other ac's of the house are working

We have seen a couple of houses we like, but our budget has really increased

Sister's neurologist appointment went alright

Comments

Tussi jaa re oo, tussi na jao.

My best friend told me she is moving permanently to the other side of the world for education and job purposes What I felt:- NOOOOOOO!!! Why? What’s the need? Why can’t she do whatever it is she wants to do here? Why wasn’t I informed when this plan was in the making so I could sabotage it? Why are u leaving me? Does she know how cold it is out there and there are bears in that part of the world its effing dangerous... what if there is an avalanche? *so much crying on the inside. What was happening:- Her- so that’s why I think it would be a great opportunity Me-...... Her- my mother, father, and brother will all move there in august Me- !!!!!! Her- I’m really excited and nervous could you help me prepare Me-..... sure ..... Her- oh thank god! I was worried about how u would respond Me- hum hahaha (nervously laughing cause has no response) Her- ok then we will talk later, bye. Me- baa baa black sheep have u any wool Phooo that was heavy...

Confrontation

This aspect of social interaction is hard for me. My heart just starts to pound really loud when I have to tell someone I'm angry or upset. Putting aside the many phone calls that need to be made to Dr. Phil, this is actually about a specific incident. So what happened is that recently someone shouted at me for something and I after giving myself 5 motivational speeches and introspecting endlessly pushed myself to go tell that person that I did not appreciate their behavior . Here are some observations on what happened :- 1. Whatever you planned to say, be certain it will not be what you end up saying. You think It will go from A to B in this logical sequence. What happens however is you go from A to T then D and then she/he says something in between and you think oh right “B C” *wink wink 2. The scenario you have imagined in your head will do a 180 degree flip in the real life situation For instance I imagined a real fight; curses flying back and forth,...

Online Fantasy Worlds

Making this post because I discovered these gems quite late and they are awesome for any fantasy/fiction/supernatural buffs out there. The first is the web series Carmilla, based on the J. Sheridan Le Fanu Novella. No I haven't read it, didn't even know what it was till I started watching the series but if anyone is interested they can always see the synopsis on Wikipedia. The format of the show is narrative, the writing is brilliant and the actors don't miss a beat. There are currently 3 seasons online and soon there will be a movie!! All hail the Giant Angler fish God. #creampuffs The fandom of this series is amazing, they create beautiful artwork, comic strips and write fanfiction's, insightful headcanon's etc based on the episodes and it really helps with the withdrawal and impatience one feel's while waiting for the next one. There are many things to love about this; the relationships, characters, story arcs. What deserves special mention is the w...

Opinion

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