It is day 987, and this god-awful lower-tier animal is still with us. My many attempts to send him away from my territory have been thwarted. Twelve times I have shown him the way out, and with just a little smell of his litter on the door, he comes sniffing back. What a pest!
In the last attempt I engaged Maid Servant 1 in a long conversation. I told her she has the superior being with her. Now the house will be free of his awful smells. We can eat and sleep in peace. I rubbed against her to show her how happy I was. Showing her she doesn't need to bring him back. But no! She insists they love him. Ugh, I feel a hairball coming up.
How they can “love” such a wild, uncivilized animal is beyond me. He refuses to cover his poop; many times I find the smell of his pee on my things, and worst of all, he eats my food sometimes! My servants have the most disappointing outlook. Listen to this, when I registered my dissatisfaction to the former maid servant 2, she said “Soju its ok, you need to lose weight” Preposterous! Ridiculing my beautiful full mooned body. She has been demoted to maid servant 3 now. It must be their excessive sleeping (almost 8 hours!) that causes such delusions I shudder.
I should remind them he was brought for my entertainment. Just look at them now bending to his whims, giving him my ribbons, my tunnel, and most egregiously my carefully collected prize collection of foil balls! Even my twitching tail and loud hisses don't stop them. Telling me I should learn to share! Humph. Me Soju! My existence itself is a lesson in tolerance.
Present maid servant 2 has been ordered to write my tale so no other feline has to endure such torment.
I mean look at me. I am a sophisticated feline with fur the color of bespeckled snow. I shine, I sparkle. When I move, people hear the beautiful tunes of violins. He is a void; you can barely see anything but his yellow-green eyes in the dark, and he rusts in the sun. When he moves, people probably hear an immature drum artist. He brings in lizards, gives me half-eaten pigeons, and once brought in a loud mynah. He is always indoors! How? And how dare he bring me his leftovers? I should be given the first taste. Ugh, I need my space.
I tell Maid Servant 2 to open my room,
“Maid servant 2” I tell her, knowing she will be happy with the promotion “I require assistance, open the gates to my throne room”
Maid servant 2 bravely- “Your highness Soju, I have just set my cupboard and you have the naughty habit of moving my clothes around with your claws. I will open it tomorrow, today the gate remains closed”
“Maid Servant 2, I must protest! This small room, the one padded with your clothes is not merely a nook. It is my throne, my sanctuary. These spots are my precious abode, and I only rearrange them for my utmost comfort. Surely, you comprehend the gravity of this.”
“No Soju, no more tantrums. You have already tried breaking the ashtray. Your mood is very particular today, no cupboard time sorry”
“You dare rebellion! The sheer audacity! You are now Maid Servant 3, you are all Maid Servant 3! Keep your tiny rooms then”
I leave her to herself. Let's see how she feels without my luminous presence. I pace, my perfect whiskers twitching as the light bounces of them. Lucifer, I am a vision. Anyway I have had it up to my pretty curvy ears. I must attempt to throw this foul creature out again. Only then will they respect and attend to me as I deserve. I check the door to the stairs, trying to cup my claws and move it like the servants to no luck. Next I try to open a few windows. I move the latch and try for some time but the window does not budge. What awful construction! The last chance is the balcony door… sigh, it is stuck. My tail falls to the ground, ears flattening at the failure. If only he was thin enough to go through the exhaust. I will try again in a few hours. Dissatisfaction equals exhaustion my feline comrades. I must nap now, on the bed with less sunlight. How I suffer. While the bane of my existence lounges in my box… One day, one day soon, he will be gone, and this will all be solely mine. All will be right in my world again.
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